Ditching Diets

I’ve been thinking about writing about this for a while now and after seeing a few people I know post wl (weight loss) pictures I decided that now was the time.

I am a little over a year into ditching diets and eating intuitively instead. Let’s talk a little about Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating. I had an eating disorder which was caused from disordered eating. What is disordered eating you ask? It’s a LOT of things!!! Here’s a small list that I can think of right now. It’s weighing and measuring in any way (unless you’re following Dr’s orders – I’m not here to debate), it’s restricting ANY type of foods, it’s not eating that type of food for dinner because “I also had it at lunch” thinking, it’s avoiding certain foods due to being afraid of getting fat (which is fat phobic – that’s another topic for another day) and it’s being on a diet. Oh and diets? They don’t work long term. There are a lot of studies that shows that diets don’t work, yet I’m not here to educate you on that. I’m here to just tell my story. A “Diet” is anything that 1. has an arbitrary set of rules 2. you can “get wrong” 3. leaves you feeling guilty 4. leaves you hungry or denied and 5. has a goal of weight loss. Getting back to disordered eating. Here’s one definition of it: Disordered eating – “It’s a term used for unhealthy eating behaviors and worries about body image.”

Eating disorders are often the result of disordered eating.“Eating disorders are serious conditions related to persistent eating behaviors that negatively impact your health, your emotions and your ability to function in important areas of life. The most common eating disorders are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge-eating disorder.” From MayoClinic Feb 22, 2018

I started to address my eating disorder in May 2019 with the help of a counselor that specializes in ED’s. I had never addressed WHY I ate what I ate. I restricted sugar for many many many years and thought I had a addiction to sugar. (hence my eating disorder) I tried diets, I tried cutting it out COMPLETELY from my daily food intake for over 13 years and I’ve tried to say “I’ll just eat it in moderation” while still believing that I was “dieting”. I usually just did what others said they did that worked for them. In trying one of those methods that “worked for someone else”, I got really really small yet my eating disorder was not addressed and I was engaging in disordered eating as I was weighing and measuring my food and only eating 3 meals a day with nothing in between except non caloric beverages. Once I realized that that program was too rigid (in June of 2013), I quit and started eating what I wanted again. I still restricted in a way and worried about getting fat.

The day I made that phone call to my therapist, I was at my bottom. I was done with dieting (I actually was going to give it one last shot with Intermittent Fasting the day I made that call) I started to meet with her on a weekly basis. I asked her qualifications for being an ED counselor and she qualified. She gave me homework that made me uncomfortable yet I did it anyway. I gave myself permission to eat anything I wanted. I took ALL rules off of food. There are no “good” and “bad” foods anymore. I continue to challenge myself to do better so I know better when it comes to my health.

After working with her for over 1 year now, I chose foods that I love and crave even though they may mean my body stays this size longer than I would’ve wanted in the past. I’ve taken courses online and in person to help me learn to trust my body and love it while quieting that inner critical voice. BeNourished is one of them and a Body Empowerment group that studied the book: “Embody – Learning to Love your Unique Body” by Connie Sobczak.

After a year of working on releasing the diet mentality, working with my counselor and listening to my body, I am able to have sugar in many forms in my house and not binge on it. I’m able to have food items and not call them “treats”; I call them FOOD. I don’t have “cheat” days. I don’t “reward” myself with food if I’ve exercised enough or restricted to a certain point. Yes, I am in a bigger body at this time. I’m trusting the process that my body will get to it’s set point when it’s ready. “There’s no chart that shows your healthy set point based on your height, age, gender, etc. The way you can determine your set point is by letting go of control over food and your body, and by instead tuning into your body’s natural cues for what, when and how much to eat.”Jun 24, 2019


I’m not here to get praises or criticisms about my body – I don’t need or want ANYONE to tell me what they think of my body in any way shape or form. (so please don’t) I am here to tell my journey of letting go of the diet mentality so I can be at peace with food and to maybe connect with others who feel the same way or want to be on different path with their food. I LOVE inspiring others so if you want a cheerleader, I’m here for you!!! I used to post things or pictures so that I would get a reaction so that I felt validated. Well, I don’t need any validation – I AM valid!!! I learned that in some deep trauma work I did from 2012 – 2017. I post/write about things now because I want to be vulnerable and share with others that they too can be vulnerable.

When I stop worrying about what other people will think of me in my bigger body, I gain FREEDOM!!! Freedom to do my own thing and not what others think I should or shouldn’t be doing!!! That’s why I’m posting a picture of me TODAY.. there won’t be any AFTER pictures because I’m not interested in changing my body to fit anyone else’s standards. I’m only interested in being healthy and active. I move my body anywhere from 3 – 6 times a week. (moving my body = what others call exercising) I love my body. It has birthed two beautiful baby girls who are now amazing young women!!! It has done 3 marathons and 2 or 3 half-marathons. It has gone on many many hikes all over the world (well, many places in the US and some in NZ). I’m not the fittest I’ve ever been and yet I can continue to work towards the goal of being more fit without the goal of losing weight. I don’t need to lose weight to be loved. I just need to trust my body and love it for what it does for me.

Blessings to you all!!!